Mutual parting with a loved one never passes smoothly. Even if we keep repeating, “it’s all over,” we still don’t cross the final line for more than six months and sometimes even two or three years.
A woman’s readiness for a new relationship can be determined only after she is able to overcome all stages of suffering and realize that life goes on. Separation or divorce is similar to the loss of a loved one. Fortunately, he is still alive, but a relationship with him is ancient history. American psychologist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross says that when parting from a former lover, a woman must survive five stages of suffering. Afterward, a new and lasting relationship with a man is still possible.
1. Denial. A woman who has recently split from her lover might deny that she has lost him. She literally forces herself to believe that everything is all right and nothing special has happened. Moreover, many women tend to convince themselves that they have finally escaped a heavy burden of an initially “doomed” relationship. They try hard to devaluate the former relationship. Some of them conclude they did not even love their ex, but this attitude could just be a delusion or a defensive reaction.
2. Clamour. At this stage, women are trying to get rid of mental pain through negative emotions toward their former partner. Ladies sincerely believe “love and hate are just one step apart,” as they feel angry and offended by a former lover.
3. Depression. Futile attempts to return to a loved man leave a woman extremely exhausted. Depression seizes her mind. She believes all men are skunks and do not deserve to be trusted. During a protracted phase of depression, many women may become addicted to alcohol or drugs. After all, this period often makes a woman feel that she is a loser that nobody needs. Only friends or other close people can help her overcome depression.
4. Negotiation. This period is considered the most difficult. Indeed, many women decide life is lost without a man. After surviving all the negative emotions, they realize they still have strong feelings, which means someone’s love should be returned by all means. Many of them will then try to restore an old relationship, resorting to manipulation, persuasion, and threats, but one of the partners often categorically refuses to renew past feelings.
5. Adaptation. After surviving all the circles of hell, a woman will return and adapt to the new reality. She no longer is startled when wiping dust from “trinkets” he gave her. Instead, the trinket may cause some pleasant, even sad memories, and she pays no attention to it. Why does she keep it? Perhaps she thinks of her former love. Or maybe it’s just out of habit. She has kept the trinket because she hasn’t been quite ready to throw it away, even though it is just a very small item belonging to the one who forced her to go through all the circles of hell. Most importantly, though, he made her understand that life goes on.
(from : womanspassions.com)
